My Vocation Walk 

by Miranda S. Plagge 

Growing up many of my peers knew exactly what they planned on doing with their lives. As for myself, I was a teen completely indecisive about my future. Faith has always been a cornerstone in my life while attending Catholic schools, but I didn’t always allow faith to be a source. 

From around the age of 18 to 21 (I’m now 24) I sowed my wild oats. During that time in my life I let my indecisive nature become a well-versed excuse: “I’m not sure what I want to do with my life at this point, so until it’s clear to me I’d like to live a little.”  

That was an often-used line when family or friends had made inquiries to what I was up to of late. Quite honestly, by age 21 I was sick of my own excuses. What I have come to understand now is that a mother’s prayers were answered. 

At the time I had allowed myself to fall into the “motions” of the Mass and felt like a spiritual desert. I knew change was needed quickly, my prayer was simple: “Lord I need help. Help me make my wrongs right again, the truth be known and my path straight, Lord I’ve done it my way, lets do it your way.” With that prayer was born a hunger for knowledge, truth, and spirituality. It didn’t take long to seek out great literature and like- minded individuals. 

As a young girl I was adamant about finding a “good” Catholic husband. At age 22, I decided that I was ready to date, so I joined AveMariaSingles.com. I met and got to know some really great Catholic men. With each one there was an instant attraction, but I always felt something was missing, something big. Little did I know God was stirring my soul. 

I really began to become restless, and on top of that I had this thought that started to haunt me. How it got there is debatable, but it was direct and simple in nature “become a nun.” It wasn’t an idea I kicked around joyfully. In fact, the opposite is true. 

I’m the eldest of 12 children, so I naturally thought I’d be a mother, and for months on end I made sure I did everything conceivable to make the thought go away, be suppressed, or totally masked. I came up with so many arguments why I wouldn’t make a good Sister. The most common used from my experience was my first excuse, they’re all old, and the few that I have come across seem to be mean spirited. The one argument I abused myself with was that I wasn’t “holy enough.”  

Like any true Religious Vocation (from what I’m told) it became more persistent. A friend of mine put it best: “It’s like a consent gentle wave upon the shore.” 

It was during Advent 2002 that I happened to be watching EWTN’S Life on the Rock and the guests that evening were Mother Angelica’s Extern Sisters. All preconceived notions of Religious life were put to rest and the walls I built up over the months began to crumble at my feet. It was about half way through the show that I realized I was crying, well actually balling my eyes out. Everything the Sisters talked about in their own lives was exactly what I was craving in my soul. At the end of the show with joy and peace in my heart, I looked towards heaven and cried out “yes, if this is what you want of me then my answer is yes.” Today the prayer reads more like “Lord, conform my will to your will.”

SACARMENTS, ADORATION, and PRAYER! I can’t stress enough how the fruit of these spiritual Gold Mines can and will work in your own vocation walk. It wouldn’t hurt to seek out a Spiritual Director, whether your vocation is Married, Religious, or the Single life. 

Today I can’t say that since I’ve discerned my vocation that it has been a cakewalk. There are many times I question, have doubts or want to give up because it’s “too hard.” With the Holy Spirit’s graces I’m reminded of the immense peace I felt when I gave my own Fiat. 

“And he gave some as apostles, others as prophets, others as evangelists, others as pastors and teachers, to equip the holy ones for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ.” (Ephesians 4:11-13)